


awaken

by squirrelhan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cuddly Felix, Insomnia, Insomniac Seo Changbin, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 19:23:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19447966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squirrelhan/pseuds/squirrelhan
Summary: changbin can't sleep.





	awaken

**Author's Note:**

> quick disclaimer, i'm sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language!

A heavy sigh leaves Changbin's dry lips. He's staring at the dark ceiling, the clock in the corner of his room is ticking loudly. Maybe too loud. He can hear every second ticking away.

He turns around when a couple of soft mumbles draw his attention. Felix, Changbin's boyfriend, is talking in his sleep; the younger had wrapped his arms around his enormous teddy bear. It was a gift from Changbin to Felix when he turned 18.

Felix has been Changbin's roommate and boyfriend for years now. Changbin loves Felix. He met the boy who's originally from Australia on the first day of college. Felix was bad at speaking Korean, and Changbin was bad at speaking English.

Changbin's best friends back then all agreed that Changbin should date 'the hot Australian student', especially Kim Woojin and Bang Chan. Changlix, a ship name Woojin came up with, quickly became the topic to talk about in their little group of friends. And it worked.

Within two weeks, Changbin shyly asked Felix on a date. He still remembers their first date. Going to a mall and eating ice cream at an expensive store. Felix had a vanilla sorbet and Changbin an oreo sorbet. Their first kiss wasn't there, by the way. Their first kiss was in the boys' restroom after P.E.

How romantic. Can you feel the sarcasm?

Now, they stay up late to play video games, give each other a good night kiss when Felix complains about not being able to keep his eyes open anymore and they fall asleep to appear at school like zombies. At least, Felix manages to fall asleep. Changbin most of the times doesn't.

The enormous amount of pressure from college is really taking a toll on Changbin's sleep schedule. Even though he finished all of his homework, his brain likes to annoy him about school when it's time to sleep. And it got the point where Changbin can't even sleep properly.

Ten minutes are passed when Changbin can't handle it anymore. He stretches himself and swings his legs over the side of his bed. He quivers when his warm feet touch the cold wooden floor, they are used to the uncomfortable warmth of Changbin's blankets.

He carefully walks to his desk, not wanting to wake Felix. He smiles when he passes Felix's bed, and can't help it to look at him for a second. The Aussie is sleeping so peacefully, with his eyelids fluttering sometimes and his pretty, plump lips parted. He'd mumble a word sometimes, pout his lips and wrap his arms around the big teddy bear even tighter.

Adorable.

Changbin takes a seat on his desk chair, his hands are trying to search for his laptop in the darkness. When he finally finds the device, he shoves it towards him and turns it on. His eyes, used to the darkness in the room, squint when they're met by the unpleasant blue light of his screen. Changbin fixes it by just simply lowering the brightness.

He opens a folder, it is filled with documents. Song ideas. Changbin starts biting his lip when he opens the first one. He keeps opening documents until he can taste his own blood.

The strong, iron-like taste on his tastebuds makes him realize what the hell he's doing. He flutters his eyelids and closes every document again without changing anything. His wallpaper appears, a picture of him and Felix in Disneyland last year. He stares at it for a couple of minutes, not knowing what to do. His brain feels numb.

His eyes glance at the time. It is 4 am already and Changbin didn't close his eyes at all. He asks himself sometimes, how does he literally stare at his ceiling for hours, too emerged in his own thoughts.

He clicks on 'The Sims 4' in complete boredom. A white screen appears and Changbin squints again. The light of his screen fills the whole room. But he just stares. He stares at the white screen, his eyes hurt, but Changbin doesn't care. He's thinking again.

There used to be a time when he and Felix played The Sims 4 every day in the 1st grade of high school. Changbin chuckles softly, they were so young back then.

They would create each other as a family (and have children, but that's between me and you). It makes Changbin think of a nice time. A nice time where they still had time to go shopping after school. To have a movie marathon featuring an absurd amount of caramel popcorn and Fanta during the weekends. It was a nice time where Changbin actually slept. A much more careless and free time.

Changbin keeps thinking until something interrupts his thoughts again. And this time it isn't the taste of his own blood.

This time, it's a loud sound. The loud intro music of the game.

Changbin's heart skips a beat, his hand quickly moves to the 'mute' button on his keyboard and the loud music stops. A relieved sigh leaves Changbin's lips. He turns his head, scared that he woke Felix. The body that belongs to Felix starts moving in the bed.

Oh no, please, don't wake up...

"Hyung?"

Changbin squeezes his eyes shut when he hears Felix coming out of his bed. The younger stumbles up to his boyfriend and looks at the screen with a confused expression on his face. His pretty, plump lips are curled in an adorable pout.

Changbin wants to kiss them.

"Hyung? Binnie? Why are you playing The Sims at 4 am?" he questions, placing his hand on Changbin's shoulder to support his still wobbly legs. He yawns and uses his fist to rub his eyes. It's a habit of him, and Changbin finds it very adorable.

"Nothing important", Changbin brushes it off, he wants to close his laptop but Felix holds his wrist. Changbin looks up, into the eyes of his boyfriend. Felix looks at him, slowly shaking his head. He starts to speak in a lower voice than usual, his morning voice.

"You're lying. I'm not stupid. I've known you for the past 6 years".

Changbin lowers his head once again, not wanting to look at his boyfriend. His thick bangs fall in front of his eyes. He blinks, some hairs find a way to poke into his tired eyes. He should definitely make an appointment to go to the hairdresser one day.

"Come with me", Felix clears his throat, his deep morning voice slowly disappearing. Changbin stands straight up and follows his boyfriend to their kitchen.

-

"I'm very worried about you".

Felix had wrapped Changbin in a fluffy blanket on the couch. The old microwave they found on a yard sale years ago makes an annoying beeping sound, it hurts Changbin's hearing. He's tired. He's so tired. But he can't fall asleep. The tiring thoughts in his head are too loud.

Felix rushes to the kitchen. He comes back with a cup of steaming hot milk. Oh, so that's what he was heating up. "Watch out, don't burn your hands", he says, handing the cup over to Changbin. He takes a seat in front of his boyfriend on a (kinda broken, another item they have bought on a yard sale) ottoman.

"This is not going to help", Changbin whispers. He places the cup on the coffee table and sighs. The words hurt when they leave his lips. He knows Felix only wants to help. He should be happy that Felix wants to help him.

"What?" Felix knits his eyebrows together. A wrinkle appears in his forehead. "I'm confused. And worried. You sleep when we get home from school but can't sleep at night. Are you okay? Does this happen more often?"

Changbin nods quietly, still not wanting to look Felix in the eyes. But his boyfriend grabs his wrist and placed his index finger under his chin, forcing Changbin to look at him.

"How often?"

"It may or may not happen almost every night", Changbin's voice is still soft. It's hard for him to talk about this topic. He tried to hide his sleeplessness for Felix, he didn't want him to be worried. Felix has other things to worry about.

"Oh my god, Hyung, are you suffering from insomnia?"

The word 'insomnia' hits Changbin like a bullet, it cuts through his heart and makes his cheeks heat up. His raging thoughts disappear for a moment. Tears fill his dark brown eyes. Insomnia. He never thought about that.

A broken "Y-yes" leaves his lips and the tears roll down his cheeks. He sobs, directly burying his face in his hands who are warmed up by holding the cup of hot milk.

Felix's arms are immediately there. He wraps them around his boyfriend, kisses his cheek and wipes his way too long bangs out of his face.

"It's okay. I understand why you didn't want to tell me this. Don't cry, I'm going to find a solution", Felix says, wiping the tears from Changbin's red cheeks. "I'm sorry Felix", Changbin blows his nose and looks at his boyfriend with red, tired and puffy eyes.

"No, don't say sorry. Now, drink your milk. I don't care if it doesn't work. I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow, maybe they have something for you. Pills or something", Felix pushes the cup in Changbin's hands again, giving him another kiss on his forehead.

"B-but we have tests tomorrow and-"

Felix lays his index finger on Changbin's lips. "You're stressing out. It's okay, we're already awake. Come here, I want to cuddle", Felix giggles, wrapping his arms around Changbin's waist. He lays his head on Changbin's shoulder and holds his hand.

"I love you", Changbin whispers softly, hoping it's too soft for his cuddly boyfriend to hear. "What did you say?" Felix laughs, giving Changbin butterfly kisses on his lips. Changbin chuckles. "I love you", he repeats. His heart beats faster when he sees Felix's freckled cheeks turn red. "I love you too, Binnie", he replies. Changbin closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling of Felix cuddling him. It doesn't take very long before he realizes that Felix has fallen asleep. He smiles, pressing a soft kiss on the Aussie's forehead. 

Changbin doesn't really fall asleep that night. But that's okay. He has Felix laying in his arms and that's everything he needs to get through another sleepless night. 


End file.
